This post is mega long.
Last Thursday, 5.20 p.m., I HAD to get to W.H.Smiths in C.Bay before closing. I needed a staplier, urgent. This resulted in me being threatened with instant arrest by a Police officer. Yes, me, the meek and mild golf club operator.
I drove down by the Library, spotted a parking spot JUST big enough with a struggle. A very smart new car with a lady in the driving seat parked, then the space, then an empty car. Just three spaces, clear road at both ends.
So I backed in with a struggle, did a second front and back, and stopped. The car alarm went off in the empty car. I opened my door to get out but immediately on the pavement was the lady from the car in front. In an unfriendly voice "You have hit that car behind." Me: "No I havent." Lady. "Yes, you have, I saw you."
I might add here that everything she said of any importance, she repeated a minimum of three times, up to six times, over the next half hour.
I went to the back of my car and saw that my exhaust pipe was resting against the car behinds number plate, just touching it.
The alarm had stopped. The woman from the car in front said, several times, "I'm going to take your cars number if you walk away." She was repeating all this, and I said "What exactly has this got to do with you?" "I happen to be a Police Officer although I'm off duty." Me: "Well I'm off to the shop, I'll be back in 10 mins if you are interested."
10 mins later I was back. Now another lady was there as well, apparently the empty cars owner. She had reversed back around a foot or so to have a look at her car. The police lady was still going at me full strength so I said "Well I cannot see any damage to either car." "Oh yes there is" said the P.C. pointing to a mark on the number plate, about a quarter of a computer keyboard key, looked to me like a small stone mark, but not in line with my exhaust pipe, about six inches out of line. I pointed out it wasent in line, and one or the other of them said "I thought it was done with that" pointing at my towing hitch. This was even further out of line and below the level of her car, which I pointed out.
In between all this at least THREE times this P.C. said to this lady "Are you SURE you don't want to proceed with this." And the lady replied, No, I dont want the bother, its nothing etc etc.
At one stage the PC was on her phone, for a fair time, to someone. Now, she says to me "Name, address, date of birth, name of insurance company." I gave her my ins cert plus driving licence and MOT (not asked for) and she gave them a look over and made some notes.
She returned them to me and started telling me to be careful I didnt loose the small plastic section of my licence and I told her in no uncertain terms that I'd had a driving licence for 60 years and Id never lost one and I didnt need advice from her.
Now getting very nasty, shouting etc and I was getting madder and madder.
By now the lady had got into her car but not driven away and the P.C. wandered off towards the shops.
I sat in my car and thought I dont want to move, once I drive away the evidence will be lost. So I sat there.
After a while I thought I will phone the police myself. Not 999, I know better than that. Whats the number. Not sure, but I'll try 101. Messagecame up "Number not in use." So I tried a second time. Same thing. So I thought is it 112. I got through to the police control room. I told them all this. I was absolutely steaming mad. The operator told me to calm down a few times. I went over and over the incedent with her, she, like the pc, kept on saying the same things all the time "If you have been in a collision you must swop names and addresses" I kept on saying that the pc had given my details to the lady, and it wasent a collision it was a touch. Then I was told off for using an emergency number. I told her Id tried 101 and she said nastily that I should be patient and wait to be answered. That did it, I told HER in no uncertain terms that the number was NOT IN USE.
And now, who is coming back up the road was the P.C.
I'm out of my car like a shot, phone in hand, saying "shes here, do you want to talk to her, you are just wasting my time the pair of you." The P.C. takes my phone off me and sits in her new shining car and talks, and talks, 5 mins, 10 mins (at my expense) eventually gives it back to me.
So me "Well thats it. I'm going." Got in my car and looking forward as I put on seat belt said to myself, but strong enough for my words to carry out "What a f*****g waste of time."
My door was instantly wrenched open and our female
P.C. "I could instantly arrest you for swearing at a police officer." Me shouting "I wasent speaking to you. I wasent looking at you. I was just passing a comment to myself----and take your hands of my door so that I can shut it. Goodbye."
I didnt drive away. I just sat there. Eventually the P.C. drove away. I looked at the car behind but the lady had vanished, gone somewhere. So I went home and taken the last three days to cool down.
The funny thing was as I first parked I thought, why doesent that woman (the PC) pull forward to make it easier for me to park. Good job I didnt clip her shining new car.
P.S. Just thought of something else. At least three times the P.C. said "I SAW YOU. You hit it twice." At the third time I said "Whilst you were sitting in your car in front. You got eyesite which sees round bends?." My car is a big 4x4.
