Clean Jokes

[barney]

Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work,
But I knew the boss would not allow me to take  leave. I thought that maybe if I
acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's
blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a
light bulb, So that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are you
doing?'  I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me,
The Boss asked her
And where do you think you're going?'

She said,
'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!

[Pendragon]

  L0L

[Trojan]

 L0L  L0L

[barney]

Glad you liked that one

   

[Pendragon]

Five Englishmen in an Audi arrived at Dublin port. Paddy,the ports officer, stops them and tells them "It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro", "Quattro means four" "quattro is just the name of the car".  The Englishman says "look at the papers, this car isn designed for 5 persons" "you can't pull that one on me" says Paddy "quattro means four, you have 5 in your car, so your breaking the law" the Englishman shouts "you bloody Moron, go and get your supervisor I want to talk to someone intelligent" Paddy says "you can't, Murphy is busy with those two fellas in the Fiat Uno"

 D)

[Fester]

 L0L L0L  Quality ...   

[barney]

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 am.
And is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies,
“I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.
The officer then asks,
“Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies,
“My wife.”

[dontheturner]

My wife though this "joke" should be confined to the "dirty Jokes" section.    ¢¢##

The inuendo is apparent to all.

Personally I think it is all in the mind. -  or in this case, Mrs Yorkie's.

[dontheturner]

My wife though this "joke" should be confined to the "dirty Jokes" section.    ¢¢##

The inuendo is apparent to all.

Oh Sorry  to nit-pick, Yorkie-,  you have a spelling mistake in your complaint. too.

[Yorkie]

I trust you did not find my spelling error (t) as offensive as my wife did your "joke".     ¢¢##

[Ian]

Okay.  I was hoping this wouldn't be necessary but here goes.  Don - I've moved your most recent jokes because they are not - by any standards  - 'clean'.

The litmus test for whether a joke is clean or not is very simple.  If you have young children or young grandchildren, ages 7 - 12, would they understand and enjoy the jokes and would there be any difficulty explaining them if they didn't?  This forum is an open forum, so it's accessible to young children. and so the clean jokes section must remain exactly that.    

In similar vein, I'm also asking folk to keep the language pristine in here, please.  Thanks for your understanding.

[dontheturner]

 
 IAN,

 If we are sorting jokes by that standard, how come you did not see fit to move The Mr Yorkie joke on Page 7? Or indeed others before it, which were similar..

 I dont think I shall come on here again.   

You have chosen to castigate me, and not others why?

Don

[Ian]

If we are sorting jokes by that standard, how come you did not see fit to move The Mr Yorkie joke on Page 7? Or indeed others before it, which were similar..

I have, in fact, moved more than just your jokes, Don, and that's because I'd left it for a while, hoping that the two categories would eventually bed in of their own accord. That hasn't really happened, so I've now started moving them

You have chosen to castigate me, and not others why?

You are not the only member who has found the categorisation of the jokes section tricky, but I was simply - in this case - responding to the most recent postings. I'm not castigating you;  simply making the point that a clean joke - by definition - doesn't embody innuendo.

I fully accept that humour is the most subjective of the arts and that what makes one person laugh out loud will be met with stony silence from another, but I also think it's important to say that I'm not trying to impose my own ideas of what constitutes humour on the forum.  It's simply that I'm very aware  of two things:  the first is that we don't know which young children have access to this forum and, as a parent myself, I know I don't want anything dubious in a section which is not clearly marked as such. The second aspect concerns the forum reputation.  We want to attract community activists from all areas into here, but a very large slice of the community involves working with young people, and I think it's important that onlookers feel this place is a safe and secure as anywhere on the 'net for their young folk to be.

I dont think I shall come on here again.   

I hope you do, Don, because you make a significant and valued contribution to the forum.  All I'm asking is that you post your jokes in the 'Less Clean Jokes' section.

[dontheturner]

Hello Ian,

Thanks for your constructive comments - but there exists a bias from others.  Items posted by regulars, get read, with comments, others by newcomers, do not. 

However, I do like this site very much.  and In view of what you have said, - I will observe, and avoid posting jokes.  My suggestion, is to close the Less clean , header, for the benefit, of the future progress of this forum. 

Regards   Don.

[Ian]

there exists a bias from others.  Items posted by regulars, get read, with comments, others by newcomers, do not. 

That's an interesting observation, Don, and you might be surprised to know that the same sort of thing is said in just about every forum on the 'net.  Part of it is that we seek to be - and are, in effect -  a community, and each community embodies its own mores, norms, aspirations and expectations. Inevitably, those who have been around the longest - and by that I mean in the old forum which preceded this one - will be familiar, their characteristics and foibles well known and the expectations of them well honed.  And, in a mildly ironic sense, that's also the collection of attributes that combines to make humour so subjective.

An alternative way of looking at it is to say there are cliques, but cliques are nothing more than groups of folk who find common interests and know each other well enough to leave some things unsaid. Destructive cliques, on the other hand, are groups with pre-designated agenda, who seek to impose their collective aspirations on the rest of the community.  I don't believe we have anything of that sort in here, however, and that's partly to do with the fact that only two of us enjoy administrator status but mainly to do with the fact that the majority of contributors on here simply want to enjoy the companionship inherent in any decent online forum.

If we have a collective shortcoming as such, it is that we can forget that every word we type, every sentence we compose and every comment we make can be read by the six billion internet users around the world. And that's the only reason why we need to be a little wary about what's on full view, as it were.