Author Topic: What are you reading?  (Read 51220 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Ian

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 8971
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #45 on: May 21, 2011, 08:20:43 am »
The  Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Cashtration (n.):  The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite

period of time. 

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass.

3. Intaxicaton:  Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 5. Bozone (n.):  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

 7. Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

 10. Osteopornosis:  A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 11. Karmageddon:  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

 12. Decafalon (n):  The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you..

 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

 15. Arachnoleptic  Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning  and cannot be cast out.

  17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

 The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

 

And the winners  are:

 1. Coffee, n. The  person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj.  Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

 5. Willy-nilly, adj.  Impotent.

 6. Negligent, adj.  Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

 8. Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.

 9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

 
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Offline Paddy

  • Member
  • Posts: 783
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #46 on: May 22, 2011, 04:03:07 am »
 _))* _))* _))*


Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #47 on: May 22, 2011, 06:13:33 am »
Circumvent  _))*

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #48 on: May 22, 2011, 08:44:10 am »
As I travel along Lifes Highway I do try to light up peoples lives if I can.   ZXZ

You may enjoy this book about the Ratcliffe Highway murders then. Not so well known as the Ripper murders, but still as gruesome.

In 1811, John Williams was buried with a stake in his heart. Was he the notorious East End killer or his eighth victim in the bizarre and shocking Ratcliffe Highway Murders? In this vivid and gripping reconstruction P. D. James and T. A. Critchley draw on public records, newspaper clippings and hitherto unpublished sources, expertly sifting the evidence to shed new light on this infamous Wapping mystery.
I bought this book, am halfway through and it is very good.  $good$

Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #49 on: May 22, 2011, 06:10:52 pm »
As I travel along Lifes Highway I do try to light up peoples lives if I can.   ZXZ

You may enjoy this book about the Ratcliffe Highway murders then. Not so well known as the Ripper murders, but still as gruesome.

In 1811, John Williams was buried with a stake in his heart. Was he the notorious East End killer or his eighth victim in the bizarre and shocking Ratcliffe Highway Murders? In this vivid and gripping reconstruction P. D. James and T. A. Critchley draw on public records, newspaper clippings and hitherto unpublished sources, expertly sifting the evidence to shed new light on this infamous Wapping mystery.
I bought this book, am halfway through and it is very good.  $good$

I won't tell you the ending then.  :)

Offline Fester

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 6660
  • El Baldito
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #50 on: May 22, 2011, 10:08:56 pm »
Blood and Retribution (Supplied By Dave R)

It is a biography of sorts about Nicholas Van Hoogstraten.

A notorious villain and slum landlord from the South coast of England,
.... a thoroughly ruthless business man, but very interesting character nonetheless.
Fester...
- Semper in Excretum, Sole Profundum Variat -

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #51 on: May 23, 2011, 08:13:01 am »
Yes, I enjoyed that book very much. I wonder if anyone else in Llandudno has read it?  :-X

Offline Hugo

  • Management board member
  • *
  • Posts: 14066
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #52 on: May 23, 2011, 12:57:54 pm »
I was in Waterstones the other day just killing time but saw two books that caught my attention. One was a new edition of Llandudno Past and Present by Jim Roberts and the other was Llandudno Through Time by Christopher Draper and John Lawson Reay.
I liked Jim Roberts' book because at pg 76 was a picture of my Mother's old house at Penmorfa Cottages and I also liked the other book because it showed old photos of Llandudno and photos of the same location now.
I couldn't decide which one to buy so in the end I bought them both and thoroughly enjoyed reading them and looking at the photos.      $good$

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #53 on: May 23, 2011, 01:21:03 pm »
Speaking of Waterstones, it has just been sold by HMV Group to a Russian Billionaire. It will be interesting to see what changes are made - I believe they want to give it much more of an Independent Bookseller feel, with local Management choosing what is sold.

Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #54 on: May 23, 2011, 05:48:02 pm »
Yes, I enjoyed that book very much. I wonder if anyone else in Llandudno has read it?  :-X

 :laugh:

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #55 on: October 16, 2011, 10:31:30 pm »
I'm reading 'Staying On' at the moment.

"Tusker and Lily Smalley stayed on in India. Given the chance to return 'home' when Tusker, once a Colonel in the British Army, retired, they chose instead to remain in the small hill town of Pangkot, with its eccentric inhabitants and archaic rituals left over from the days of the Empire. Only the tyranny of their landlady, the imposing Mrs Bhoolabhoy, threatens to upset the quiet rhythm of their days. Both funny and deeply moving, Staying On is a unique, engrossing portrait of the end of an empire and of a forty-year love affair."

Very well written, it reminds me strongly of the sort of book J. G Farrell wrote.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Staying-Paul-Scott/dp/0099443198

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #56 on: February 15, 2012, 05:53:28 pm »
I've started using the iBooks reader on the iPhone as a method of reading books when I have a spare 5 minutes to waste. I never thought I would enjoy reading a book on an electronic device but I have to say it works very well and you soon get used to it.

One of the first books I'm reading is 'Goldfinger', by Ian Fleming. Although I've seen most of the Bond films, I'd never read any of the books and I was very pleasantly surprised. A very tightly written thriller.

Offline Yorkie

  • Member
  • Posts: 5255
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #57 on: February 15, 2012, 07:07:26 pm »
I'm about half way through The Odyssey of Mary B: A True Tale by John Durand, which is the story of Mary sent to Australia with other criminals and convicts, her adventures and later return to England.  Fascinating story and compelling reading.

I am not an avid reader but find it difficult putting it down.  Loaded to my iPhone from Kindle.

Great for reading in bed when the OH wants the light out!    :D
Wise men have something to say.
Fools have to say something.
Cicero

Offline Fester

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 6660
  • El Baldito
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #58 on: February 15, 2012, 07:59:36 pm »
I very rarely read books... but its a bit boring on the pier at this time of year.
So boring in fact that I could learn a new language if I put my mind to it. $walesflag$

However, I have picked up a book that Mrs Fester bought me for Xmas.
I grimaced when I unwrapped it, because she knows I don't like books very much.

Its the autobiography of Freddie Blassie, one of the most popular wrestlers in America for almost half a century.

I knew very little about him, though I had heard of him and I knew he was somewhat controversial.

Well, I couldn't put it down, and I now intend to read a lot more this year.   
I might even put a list together for next Xmas??
Books might be a thing of the future!
Fester...
- Semper in Excretum, Sole Profundum Variat -

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: What are you reading?
« Reply #59 on: February 15, 2012, 08:23:20 pm »
You can store hundreds of books on your iPhone and read them on there.