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Funny true stories
Pendragon:
My Dad told me this about a guy called Trevor Hen in Pen.
Trevor was working for a construction company some years ago, the job was to gut a building Trevor was the labourer. All the debris was to be put on the pavement outside. A couple of hrs later the police turned up and informed the foreman that the rubble on the pavement had to be disposed of in a skip as it was causing an obstruction on the pavement. A skip was ordered and Trevor was then told to shovel everything from the pavement into the skip. Trevor noticed that a joist needed to be chopped up to fit in the skip, he went back into the building and without asking took a saw from the joiners tool box and started to saw the joist. Now Joiners can be rather teritorial over their tools and when the joiner returned from his break and realised that Trevor was using his saw he went mad and shouted at Trevor. At the end of the day the joiner came out and saw poor Trevor still shovelling rubble into the skip he turned to him and said "I tell you what Trevor lend us a spade and I'll give you a hand" "F*ck off" said trevor "you wouldn't lend me your saw" :P
Pendragon:
Lock in
My sister used to live with us in the pub and Id always warned her about locking up at the end of a shift, I explained that before turning lights off and locking up, make sure no one was lurking behind doors etc (it happens). On this particular occasion there had been a wake in the Albion so it had been very busy. At the end of the night my sis and I sat down to have a beer, as we sat there discussing the days events, we could hear banging coming from the toilets. Now we hadn't been living there long and were aware of all the ghost stories(the Albion is without doubt haunted but thats another story)
feeling a little spooked we made my hubby go and check. Off he went down the corridor to the locked toilet area, the next thing a fella walked up the corridor, his shirt all creased and his hair standing up on one side where he'd obviously been asleep leaning on the toilet wall then woken up and realised he was locked in. As he passed us sat in the bar he turned to my sis and I and said "I've heard of a lock in but this is bloody ridiculous" we couldn't help but laugh.
Pendragon:
Jimmy Carr
I was watching the Jimmy Carr dvd the other night and he was talking about when he did a gig in Llandudno, he said he walked on stage and shouted " Good evening Clandudno! " A guy in the audience shouted "It's not Clandudno, in Wales the L is pronounced Ll " Jimmy shouted back " Ok don't be a Lunt about it " _))* _))* L0L
Where you there ?
Trojan:
--- Quote from: Pendragon on October 24, 2010, 09:02:03 pm ---Where you there ?
--- End quote ---
No, but I wish I had been. L0L
Pendragon:
This was published in a magazine.
A young woman had been on the staff night out, they had been to the local pub and then for a curry before calling it a night. The next morning the woman woke up with a hangover from hell and of course deli belly. She had no time to use the toilet through fear of being late. She jumped into her car and began her journey to work. As she was running late she put her foot down. As she hurtled along the road she suddenly noticed a police car behind her, his lights flashing. She pulled over, the police car stopped and out stepped the officer. Unable to stop herself she let rip with a fart in the car. As the officer approached she wound down the window. The officer poked his head in the window and immediatly withdrew, he pulled out his notebook and began to write. Without uttering a word he looked at the woman and put the note on her windscreen he got back in his car and drove off. The woman was confused so she got out of her car and got the note from the windscreen. To her embarrassment the officer had written " please watch your speed in future, I will not prosecute today as sitting in that stink is punishment enough!!!!"
My God you'd die wouldn't you _))* _))*
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