Less clean jokes: adults only

[Ian]

We have to be a little careful, Fester, because we are a community forum and could have youngsters finding us. If we were a closed or subscription forum, that wouldn't be an issue.

[Fester]

Understood Ian ...thats why Dave and Yourself are Moderators ....to moderate our ludicrous behaviour.

Having said that it was pretty mild stuff.

Anyhow, perhaps we SHOULD become a closed order, develop our own handshake, and issue bespoke leather aprons to all Forum members?
Alright...alright,  I can hear you saying ...''LEAVE IT FESTER!!''

 

[Trojan]

Not that avid, mate! 

 

[Trojan]

Is this one passable? 

[Nemesis]

The sand out there makes things itchy enough.

[Trojan]

The sand out there makes things itchy enough.

Especially the West Shore. I ended up with a wonderful organ grinder there, one gusty evening back in July.

[Yorkie]

Is everyone broadminded enough for this?

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x1y6ya

[Ian]

I've seen that before, and it's truly excellent.  She certainly knows how to get the most - or perhaps the least - out of a simple palming trick. 

[Yorkie]

I wonder if this will get past the Censor?? )*)&


 Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street
 and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her
 boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my
 boyfriend is buying me flowers again...for no reason."

 The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the big deal,
 don't you like getting flowers?"

 The brunette says, "Oh sure... but he always has expectations after
 getting me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next
 three days on my back with my legs in the air."

 The blonde says ...”Don't you have a vase?"

 L0L L0L L0L

[Yorkie]

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blow job."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offence, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
    L0L L0L L0L

[Trojan]

 :puke2:  :puke2:  :puke2:

[Quiggs]

Medical researchers have found that patients requiring blood transfusions, may benefit from receiving CHICKEN BLOOD rather than Human.        It tends to make the men Cocky and the Women lay better.
                                                                      Just thought you'd like to know.   D)

                                        Blessed are those who are cracked.    For they are the ones to let the light in.   

                                                                       O K I'll go to my room now.  D)         

[Merddin Emrys]

Seen on a t shirt years ago!

Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked

and

Four
Forks
Ache

[Quiggs]

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church and sits in the confessional box but says nothing, the Priest coughs a few times to gain his attention, but still nothing. The Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles it's no use knocking mate, there's no bloody paper this side either.     Z**

[Fester]

Seen on a t shirt years ago!

Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked

and

Four
Forks
Ache

Andy,
At the risk of sounding a little obsessive, the 'Whale Oil Beef Hooked' tee-shirt was worn by Phil Taylor (The drummer of Motorhead) in the late 70's

Fest.