Mike, I've enjoyed reading your posts and replying to them. I thought that they were interesting so don't quit on us now, so if you see anything else on your travels just jot it down on here.
You've highlighted the complexity of the Welsh language with its various mutations and the fact that there is no neutral gender in the language. There's no "it" in the language as everything is either male or female.
As Tosh has quite rightly said "Recently when I asked a friend how I should pronounce something she said, " however you want to say it as long as people know what you mean"
As for spelling, does it really matter that much for the same reason. My own Christian name was spelt incorrectly by the Registrar but it doesn't bother me as I've been called a lot worse in my time, especially when I played football!