I thought insanity couldn't get any more pronounced, but I was wrong. This is a good example of people not having a clue what they're talking about.
First off, the obesity issue is not connected to the availability of electric bikes. It's down to other causes, such as - have I mentioned - bad parenting.
Secondly, the council tax payers should not have their money used for such an absurd purpose. The rather confused Cllr Louise Emery says it's 'a health crisis'. No, dear; the Black Death was a health crisis. Smallpox was a health crisis. This is bad parenting.
Thirdly, even if it were a health crisis, then why isn't the NHS supplying every overweight child with an electric bike? Last time I checked the NHS was responsible for health crises - not CCBC, who clearly have trouble even with basic logic and reasoning, let alone managing a 'health crisis'.
Fourthly, how did children become slimmer when there were no electric bikes? Let me think...oh, yes; they played football? Did a lot of walking? Played tick?
Kids are not playing out as much as they did in days of yore. Partly this is to do with parenting and ignorant concerns over children being abducted. Kids are safer now than at any time in history. Except now they stand a chance of being mown down by some thundering, overweight 11 year-old weaving across the pavement like a deranged porpoise on an electric bike. Of course a lot are glued to their iPhones, PS4s, Xboxes and TVs, almost certainly becoming in need of a surgical procedure to separate them from the things, but this is down to the stupidity of parents who don't force them to stop gazing into the infinite wastes of Fortnite and get out and - oh, meet some real people, perhaps.
Never has human society been in a more precarious position; children are glued to demonic boxes of tricks, gaining weight like cats being force-fed by indulgent owners, the electorate across the globe is apparently losing its collective mind, electing bullies, idiots and liars to the position of president, the political parties in the country are at war with themselves, let alone each other, we appear to be heading towards a cliff edge of terrifying proportions because of a plebiscite called on behalf of some Tories who felt EU rules safeguarding workers were too strict and who secretly yearn for the days when they could get away with sending eight year-olds up chimneys, no legislation other than the so-called brexit deal has been considered for two years and we're continuing to poison our atmosphere day by, day yet an increasing number of people believe the world is flat.
What a wonderful time to be alive...