Author Topic: Dreadful jokes  (Read 20261 times)

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Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #30 on: March 11, 2011, 10:09:04 PM »
last one I promise..............

The Japanese 2012 Olympic wind surfing squad must be keen, they've just arrived in Dover!!
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

born2run

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #31 on: March 11, 2011, 10:17:34 PM »
Weird is that because I just rung my Japanese friend to make sure he was okay after the Tsunami and all he did was go on about his social life.

Just kept going on and on about a huge rave

brumbob

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #32 on: March 11, 2011, 11:06:20 PM »
I recently opened a cafe in japan.. It's started out a bit shaky but people are slowly drifting in

born2run

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #33 on: March 12, 2011, 01:03:01 PM »
This really is "dreadful!"

How can you spot a japanese prostitute?

She's the one in the fishnets.

Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #34 on: March 12, 2011, 02:02:55 PM »
Oh dear that is dreadful, your making me look good now matey.  ;)

at least if only one of goes to heaven, we can quite safely say that'll be me.  D)
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Trojan

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #35 on: March 20, 2011, 08:33:25 PM »
I see they have cameras in the Washington now, to try and curb amphetamine use.  :-X

Yorkie

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #36 on: March 26, 2011, 03:27:34 PM »
I absolutely love your "-NEGATIVE" approach, I'm sure those with a more "+POSITIVE" attitude will find a "BATTERY" of answers to this very "CHARGED" problem!      L0L
« Last Edit: March 28, 2011, 08:01:36 AM by Ian »



Yorkie

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #37 on: March 28, 2011, 10:20:27 AM »
It may be dreadful but it has now lost it's context by having been moved!   Thank you !    ##   ##   ##

No doubt you had to call in Pickfords for such a major task!    _))*

brumbob

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #38 on: March 28, 2011, 11:36:15 AM »
well it was dreadful  L0L

Yorkie

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #39 on: March 28, 2011, 01:33:10 PM »
No worse than many more I have seen!  But there we are, whoever pays the Piper names the tune!    L0L  :)  ;)  :D  ;D  :(  :o  8)  ???  :roll:  :P  :-[  :-X  :-\  :-*  :'(  D)  WWW

brumbob

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #40 on: March 28, 2011, 03:05:49 PM »
I think the problem is the inconsistency Yorkie  :-X

Yorkie

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #41 on: March 28, 2011, 04:29:45 PM »
That's me all over, BB, up one minute, down the next.   Want to turn right but finish up turning left!  A person of opposites, I got a left and a right, only problem is one half doesn't know what the other half is doing.   However, I have been able to live with it so far and hope I will have  a few more years left (or should that be right) to enjoy my little idiosyncracies.    L0L

Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #42 on: March 29, 2011, 11:16:39 AM »
A Swedish Virgin


Olof Swenson, out in his pasture in
northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in
his crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself
to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon
next veek and my fiance, Lena , is still a Virgin - in every vay.'

The doctor told him, 'Olof, I'll have to
put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It
should be okay by next week, but leave it in there as long as you can.

He took four tongue depressors and formed a
neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together...quite an
impressive work of art.

Olof mentions none of this to Lena, marries
her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth ..

That night in the motel 6, Lena rips open
her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said,
Olof...you' re the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.'

Olof immediately drops his pants and
replies, 'Look at dis Lena ....still in DA CRATE!
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

ormegolf

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #43 on: May 12, 2011, 08:06:03 PM »
My first (and probably my last) attempt at putting a joke on the forum.

      Toulaise la trech (you know, the little deaf guy who rang bells in France) had died.

     The Bishop was desperate for a new replacement bellringer (No---he did'nt send for Stan)  So he put an advert in the local paper,

     First one in --- a little guy, yes, but he had no arms

     The Bishop said "My Son, you look the part but  ---  but, you have no arms, how could you pull the cords and make the bells ring?"

     "I'll show you" he shouts, and then runs around the bellfrey  smashing his face straight into the various bells.  The most beautiful sound came out, people came out into the square below "Listen to those beautiful bells." The Bishop was delighted.

   Wonderful. You've got the job.

   The little guy was delighted, he jumped up and down with delight, ran all around the bellfry, tripped over a rope, fell straight out of a window onto the cobbles in the square below --- DEAD.

  A big crowd collected around the dead body. The Bishop ran down into the crowd. People shouted to the Bishop, this is terrible, this is terrible, who is he, who is he?

  The Bishop looked down on the poor little dead guy and said  ----  wait for it -----  I dont know ---- but  ----but ---  HIS FACE RINGS A BELL


   



 

Yorkie

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #44 on: May 12, 2011, 08:13:07 PM »
To replace him they advertised again and his brother applied for the job.  He also fell out of the bell tower and when people asked the Bishop if he knew him he said, " I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother!"
Wise men have something to say.
Fools have to say something.
Cicero