Author Topic: Dreadful jokes  (Read 19570 times)

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Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2011, 12:16:40 AM »
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor stood at the foot of the bed........first I was afraid..........then I was petrified.  :D
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Trojan

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2011, 02:20:56 AM »
 _))* _))* _))*

Ian

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2011, 08:06:29 AM »
 _))* _))*
“Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.”   ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Ian

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2011, 09:00:10 AM »
Near where I live a man was shot using an athletics starting pistol.
Police are saying it was race related.
“Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.”   ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #19 on: February 15, 2011, 07:26:31 PM »
Got stopped in the street outside "boots" today by a woman with a clipboard asking "what grooming products I use? You should have seen her face when I replied "Facebook, Haribo sweets and a puppy"



It does say dreadful jokes  :o
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Paddy

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2011, 07:08:45 AM »
To be is to do - Socrates

To do is to be - Plato

Do be do be do - Sinatra

brumbob

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2011, 07:31:13 PM »
Two Blonde's telling jokes,
One says 'Knock Knock',
The other got up and answered the door!



brumbob

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2011, 08:03:57 PM »
Irish scientists have discovered that birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

brumbob

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #23 on: February 19, 2011, 08:04:23 PM »
Did you hear about the woman who stole a calender?

She got twelve months

Trojan

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2011, 01:16:53 AM »
 aaa.gif

Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2011, 09:45:45 PM »
Don't send any money in for the Tokyo Tsunami appeal, they are minted I just seen a bloke on the telly getting interviewed outside his house and he has two massive boats on his drive..........
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

DaveR

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2011, 09:52:17 PM »
You'll never go to heaven, Angie!  ¢¢##

Still, it wasn't as bad as that one you sent me earlier.... :-X

Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2011, 10:00:29 PM »
A mild looking fellow appeared before St Peter at the pearly gates "have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked "Well on a trip to North Wales I came across a gang of bikers who were hassling a young lady.  I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  So I approached the biggest, most tattooed hard looking biker n smacked him in the mouth, kicked his bike over and then ripped his ear ring out and yelled: NOW BACK OFF OR I'LL KICK THE doggy doos OUT OF THE LOT OF YER!"
Wow! St Peter was impressed "When did this happen?"....
"about 2 minutes ago"  :D
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

born2run

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2011, 10:03:02 PM »
The wife was having a go at me. "Life's just one big joke to you isn't it."

"I don't know what you mean. Sit down luv and let's talk about it."

That's when I pulled her chair away.

Pendragon

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Re: Dreadful jokes
« Reply #29 on: March 11, 2011, 10:04:25 PM »
I know how those poor people in Japan feel, the last time I had 30 aftershocks, I couldn't find my house either!!

That one Dave?

Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley