So Donald Trump telephones Queen Elizabeth II and says, “Look Queenie, I'm now US President but I want to change the title. What do you think about me being a King?”
“That’s not possible,” says the Queen. “To be a king, you have to be in a kingdom!”
“Oh,” says Trump, “well, how about a Prince?” “No,” says the Queen, “to be a prince, you have to be in a principality!”
“Okay,” says Trump, “Then I’ll be a Duke.” “You can’t do that,” says the Queen, “To be a duke, you have to live in a dukedom.”
Trump, now getting frustrated, says to the Queen, “Okay, then what do you suggest?” “Well,” replies the Queen, “given what I know of you, and your policies, I think you should stay as a country....