Author Topic: Funny true stories  (Read 44553 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Nemesis

  • Management board member
  • *
  • Posts: 6276
Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know.

Yorkie

  • Guest
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #91 on: February 26, 2011, 05:10:10 pm »
A real "bogie" man!     L0L


Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #92 on: February 28, 2011, 05:30:00 pm »
A real "bogie" man!     L0L

 L0L Dixon of Snot Green.

Yorkie

  • Guest
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #93 on: February 28, 2011, 07:45:25 pm »
Got a real nose for crime!    ;D

Offline suepp

  • Ad Free Member
  • *
  • Posts: 720
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #94 on: February 28, 2011, 11:22:59 pm »
he tried to turn it into a scratch when he spotted the camera!

The chant reminded me of the Village People song "In the Navy"

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #95 on: March 17, 2011, 09:41:40 am »
The funeral song

Anyone who has a mobile phone knows there's only a few places where you have to turn them off.  Such as Churches and Court for example.  I had to laugh the other day when a friend was telling me about the time he was a mourner in a full Catholic funeral.  The Church was full and everyone sat in silence as the verses from the Bible were read out.  Suddenly over the silence a mobile rang out with the ring tone "Just going to stand there and watch me burn" by Eminem and Rihanna.  How awful!  :twoface:
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

brumbob

  • Guest
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #96 on: March 17, 2011, 08:24:36 pm »
 :laugh:
but then anything by Eminem and Rihanna is awful  ;)

Offline Merddin Emrys

  • Ad Free Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4426
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #97 on: March 17, 2011, 09:27:46 pm »
I love that track, not normally a rap fan, but I actually have several Eminem cds and one Rhianna cd amongst all the rock stuff  :D
A pigeon is for life not just Christmas

Offline Nemesis

  • Management board member
  • *
  • Posts: 6276
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #98 on: April 22, 2011, 12:53:32 pm »
Walking on the front at West Shore the other day at high tide a woman stopped me and said 'Excuse me but where's the sand?' I looked at her and said' Under the sea, it is high tide.' She looked at me with her mouth open and said 'what'?

If you have noticed the glass door is broken at St David's Hospice Shop in Lloyd Street it was done by a woman on a mobility scooter who thought if she ran at it that it would open!!
This was caught on CCTV-- she then denied breaking it .


Must be the weather. ;D
Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know.

Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #99 on: April 22, 2011, 05:05:29 pm »
 L0L L0L L0L

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #100 on: May 24, 2011, 01:39:58 pm »
A few more funny stories in the news.

A man had a nasty surprise when he tried to get up from his deck chair to find his testicles had become trapped between two of the slats of wood.  Valalta Visjnic had been swimming naked off the coast of Croatia and his testicles had shrunk in the cool sea, when he sat down they slipped through the slats and then in the warm sun they had expanded back to normal size.  He was freed after he called beach maintenance staff from his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deck chair in half.

Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #101 on: May 24, 2011, 01:48:08 pm »
In Denmark a patient broke wind whilst having surgery and set fire to his genitals.  The 30 year old fella was having a mole removed from his bottom with an electric knife when his attack of flatulence ignited a spark.  His genitals which were soaked in surgical spirit caught fire.  The man who is suing the hospital said "when I woke up my penis and genitals were burning like hell, besides the pain I can't even have sex with my wife"  surgeons at the hospital in Kjellerups said it was a most unfortunate accident.  _))*
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #102 on: May 24, 2011, 01:54:39 pm »
Hippo eats Dwarf.........................I know it's not funny......................yeah it is

A hippopotamus swallowed a dwarf in a freak accident at a circus in Bankok.  A circus dwarf named Od died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a yawning Hippo waiting to appear in the next act.  Vets said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex which caused her to swallow the dwarf.  More than 1000 spectators continued to applaud loudly until they realised there had been a tragic mistake.
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #103 on: May 24, 2011, 02:01:36 pm »
Sorry I can't write this for laughing

A woman nearly bit off her husbands willy while he cooked pancakes for tea - as she gave him oral sex.
In the heat of passion he lost grip of the pan spilling hot oil down her naked back.  She clenched her teeth on his willy and he in agony bashed her on the head with the pan.  Both only admitted how they got their injuries after intense questioning by hospital staff in Carioca Roumania.  The man recieved treatment to his willy while his wife suffered burns two black eyes and a broken cheek bone.

Funny as you like  L0L
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Offline Nemesis

  • Management board member
  • *
  • Posts: 6276
Re: Funny true stories
« Reply #104 on: May 24, 2011, 05:44:15 pm »
 _))* _))* _))* _))* _))* _))*
Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know.