Author Topic: Less clean jokes: adults only  (Read 174098 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline DaveR

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13712
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #45 on: October 13, 2010, 09:23:08 pm »
Apparently it was made as an inside joke by the production team and was never shown on tv.  _))*

Offline Fester

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 6660
  • El Baldito
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #46 on: October 13, 2010, 10:25:55 pm »
I went on a muslim stag night last weekend .... It was wild I can tell you.

The stripper got her face out for the lads !!

Fester...
- Semper in Excretum, Sole Profundum Variat -


Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #47 on: October 13, 2010, 10:29:54 pm »
  _))*

Offline Fester

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 6660
  • El Baldito
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #48 on: October 13, 2010, 10:36:57 pm »
Not a chance the Moderators will leave this one on for long ... although I don't see why,  there are loads of jokes about an Englishman, Irishmen and Scotsman ....but maybe for tonight a few people will get a laugh out of this....here goes.

I was driving down the road today and I could see a house fire ... and an English family were leaning out of the window shouting SAVE US,  SAVE US.

So I did !

As my new screensaver.


« Last Edit: October 14, 2010, 07:29:30 am by Ian »
Fester...
- Semper in Excretum, Sole Profundum Variat -

Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #49 on: October 13, 2010, 10:45:29 pm »
That's just not cricket Fester!  ;D

Offline Ian

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 8949
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #50 on: October 14, 2010, 07:28:39 am »
Quote
Not a chance the Moderators will leave this one on for long ... although I don't see why,

I think you do...really.  :D
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Offline Ian

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 8949
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #51 on: October 14, 2010, 07:35:13 am »
I've only changed one word. And it still works with Trojan's posting.  But we really can't host racist jokes, if for no other reason than Dave and I are liable for what gets posted.

It's racist because that joke depended on a mindset of the audience which regards certain ethnic groups as specifically characteristic of stereotypical imagery.  In other words, it only works because some people are happy to denigrate certain racial groups.  The Irish, Scottish and English jokes work in a similar way, but rely on widely accepted myths about the intellectual superiority of the English, the meanness of the Scots and the ignorance of the Irish.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2010, 08:28:41 am by Ian »
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #52 on: October 15, 2010, 05:42:54 pm »
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."
 
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Offline Fester

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 6660
  • El Baldito
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #53 on: October 15, 2010, 11:53:27 pm »
Tut tut, Ian ...
Of Course I knew the joke would be unacceptable, hence my pre-amble to it.
BUT ... my premise holds true, and because I am English by origin, I now feel that my life is expendable, as you have inserted the word 'English' at the appropriate juncture.
If I die in my bed due to a house fire tonight, I hope you don't feel guilty in any way,  I wouldn't wish that on you.

Good moderating by the way, if a little predictable.   

Now, lets look at Pendragon's joke, from an angle of possible age-ism?    _ (Joking ... do no such thing)

Fest.
Fester...
- Semper in Excretum, Sole Profundum Variat -

Offline Fester

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 6660
  • El Baldito
Re: The mine rescue in Chile
« Reply #54 on: October 16, 2010, 12:34:28 am »
Yep,  I've not seen so many minors brought to the surface since they dug up Fred West's Patio.

Fester...
- Semper in Excretum, Sole Profundum Variat -

Offline Trojan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3327
Re: The mine rescue in Chile
« Reply #55 on: October 16, 2010, 08:09:36 am »
Yep,  I've not seen so many minors brought to the surface since they dug up Fred West's Patio.


  L0L

Yorkie

  • Guest
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #56 on: October 16, 2010, 08:22:55 am »
Athletic young blood goes into a Chemist and says, "Three packets of condoms please, Miss!"
"Don't MISS me!" she says.
"OK", he says, "Make it four".                      _))* _))*

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #57 on: October 16, 2010, 03:42:42 pm »
A guy goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious that his wife has the hump with him. He asks what is the matter. She replies, "Last night you were talking in your sleep and I want to know who Linda is?" Thinking quickly on his feet he tells her that Linda was 'Lucky Linda' and was actually a name of a horse that he bet on that day and won £40. She seemed quite happy with the explanation and he went off to work. When he got home that night, his wife had the hump with him again. asking her what the matter was now, she replied "Your horse phoned." 

 D)
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

Yorkie

  • Guest
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #58 on: October 16, 2010, 04:26:30 pm »
It's Saturday morning...... Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon to fix the machine. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" Says a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, its Daddy," Says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!"

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
"Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead.
And Uncle Frank jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."
There is a long pause, then Bob says, "Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?"     _))*

Offline Pendragon

  • Ad Free Member.
  • *
  • Posts: 2927
Re: Less clean jokes
« Reply #59 on: October 16, 2010, 04:40:46 pm »
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".   L0L
Only hindsight has 20/20 vision
Angiegram - A romantic notion derived from the more mundane truth.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley