Author Topic: Clean Jokes  (Read 205360 times)

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Offline Ian

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #480 on: October 23, 2019, 08:02:45 am »
 _))* _))* _))*

We seem to have lost the "Like" button.
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Offline SteveH

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #481 on: October 23, 2019, 10:00:20 am »
_))* _))* _))*

We seem to have lost the "Like" button.

You had me worried .............    :o


Offline SteveH

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #482 on: October 26, 2019, 02:51:24 pm »
Strange

Offline Ian

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #483 on: December 07, 2019, 09:30:16 am »
A hangover is the Wrath of Grapes.


A friend never drinks anything stronger than pop.  Mind you, you should see what his dad drinks…


He’s donating his body to science and preserving it in alcohol until they can use it.
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Offline SteveH

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #484 on: January 14, 2020, 10:24:05 am »
responsible owner

Offline SteveH

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #485 on: January 15, 2020, 11:59:42 am »
Ship shape

Offline Ian

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #486 on: January 15, 2020, 01:04:05 pm »
Like it  _))* _))* _))*
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

Offline Hugo

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #487 on: April 07, 2020, 10:58:13 am »
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I  know, but she has a lovely personality."




Offline spotty dog

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #488 on: April 07, 2020, 01:35:49 pm »
Brave man Hugo if the OH reads this blog

Offline Hugo

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #489 on: April 07, 2020, 06:07:23 pm »
 ))*        someone must have hacked into my e-mail account         :-[                   $smack$

Offline Hugo

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #490 on: April 18, 2020, 12:28:41 pm »
Food for thought

Offline Hugo

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #491 on: April 22, 2020, 12:33:45 pm »
A Yorkshire Farmer

Offline Hugo

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #492 on: May 16, 2020, 02:40:40 pm »
I have a friend who is also a forum member and he sent an e-mail to me yesterday which I would like to share with everyone.

As a Seenager myself I wish the things were true

Offline SteveH

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #493 on: June 20, 2020, 02:57:34 pm »
Terrible news coming from Merseyside this morning

The Birkenhead Tunnel has been closed and the speed limit will be reduced for
the foreseeable future to 25mph
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the tunnel approach recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, has confirmed in their report the problem was NOT Avian Flu but rather the cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts.

However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorrys, while only 2% were killed by cars.

The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry"

Offline Ian

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Re: Clean Jokes
« Reply #494 on: June 20, 2020, 03:35:52 pm »
That's dreadful, Steve  _))* _))* _))*
Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.  ― Michel de Montaigne

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.