Before I start let me just say that what I have to say is based on my experience and the opinions of 'er indoors and me.
Visited Oinky's today shortly after mid-day to partake of some light refreshment to satisfy our lunch-time craving.
As one enters this vast hanger like building one realises that it is more of a "truck stop" than a cafe for the more discerning person. It is stark, lacks atmosphere and the dark decoration and furniture does little to enhance the ambience (if there is any) of the place. When we entered there were 4 people at one of the low tables presumably just having a drink and 3 others sat at the plastic topped tables. The tables and chairs were a mixture of fixed seating and pseudo leather and chrome chairs. The plastic tables were a mixture of colours and the whole interior must have been designed by someone who was colour blind and devoid of any flair for co-ordination.
Enough of that, now down to the reason for our visit.
We ordered (at the counter, no table service), 1 cappuccino, 1 latte, 1 bacon and egg bap and mushrooms on toast.
The first things placed on the table were 2 plastic tea spoons, a few sachets of brown sugar, and a caramelised biscuit enclosed in its foil wrapper. Then came is pretty pink perforated vase thing with knives and forks wrapped in cheap paper serviettes, and a Heinz condiment holder containing brown sauce, tomato ketchup, salt and pepper. As our drinks were served we were advised that as everything was "local" produce and freshly cooked there would be a short delay. (This statement about everything being Local needs confirmation!)
The Cappuccino lacked any element of the standard froth and the Latte was just milk with a shot of coffee all mixed together, whereas I like my shot "floated" on the milk. However it was hot and satisfied the palate, although at £2.50 and £2.35 respectively were overpriced for what was served.
The "freshly cooked mushrooms in a creamy sauce on 2 slices of thick toast" could land them in deep trouble with Trading Standards. To my mind the mushrooms were tinned sliced mushrooms, deep-fried and there was no sauce, let alone the creamy variety to be seen. The toast was medium sliced at the best. They had not been seasoned so it was a case of pepper and salt yourself.
The "bacon and egg batch", for yours truly, also did not meet up with expectations! The bap (as I prefer to call it) was devoid of any spread such as margarine or butter. The bacon was well cooked which suited me fine. However, the egg was "out of this World", or should have been sent into outer space never to descend on this Earth again! It was round, having been cooked in an egg ring, and apart from being over cooked with no runny yolk, was discoloured on both sides from being cooked in a dirty pan.
The mushrooms were £1.99 and the bap just under £3.00, total bill a smidgen under £10.00.
The whole menu seemed to revolve around Burgers, eggs, bacon, beans, chips, black pudding with a couple of other items such as lasagne etc. I don' think you will ever see any normal vegetables or boiled potatoes in the place. Their business will have to rely on car trade as there is no room for truckers in the reasonably sized car park, and I believe the quality and value will have to be adjusted to suit a more discerning clientèle.
My summary - just another GREASY SPOON and under average, even after having been open for a few weeks.
